Jailbreak!

How to train your mind to stop looking for the right path

No, this is not a self-help article on the dark side. There are no voodoo recipes hidden within the paragraphs for you to curse your enemy with. Nope… no hidden links to the dark web. These are just a few observations that crystallised while interacting with a bunch of young people. Simple stuff, actually.

I recently had the pleasure of talking about effective communication to a group of young minds at BMS Women’s College, Bangalore. The students were from the Commerce, Math and Chemistry streams of the college. While the audience was enthusiastic and receptive, they seemed to be reluctant to share their thoughts and their opinion. We ended the session with each student doing a SWOT that focused on their short-term goals. The SWOT was a revelation. 83% of the students felt that lack of confidence is a weakness in them. Some mentioned that they felt they were ambiverts because they felt they withdrew into themselves when they felt judged. The last question that came my way was, “ How should we deal with the people that judge us?”. Telling, right?

That very same week, I met a young lady who is one of my favourite people. The last time we met she was a precocious 4 year old. I had spent an enjoyable day with her making Amazon rivers and piranha-infested ponds with playdough. This time was a treat as well. When I saw that she was immersed in a thick fat book, I thought of impressing her with the fact that I’d written two books ( yes, I lied! I’ve written only one book by myself. I’ve only co-authored the other one 🫣). Only 2?! That’s the response I got for my efforts!

The little one then raised her seven fingers and said “I’ve written these many books”! My seven year old friend had written 7 stories! I realised that her young mind had no boundaries. One of the pictures she showed me was of a slow-motion storyboard she had done. Complete with time markers! She was not worried about whether it was done correctly. I realised that her parents had let her be. She was allowed to express her thoughts and her creativity without any restrictions. She had still not encountered the right way of doing something. She had a safe space to create what she felt like creating.

How many of our youngsters are given this freedom? We still have guardians who force their children to write with their right hand because that is the ‘right’ way. Too early in life, we bring in boundaries and restrictions that curb a child’s natural flair. They lose the confidence to use their imagination and their own creativity. We are always in a hurry to fit a square peg in a round hole. 

Every human being is born with a gift. You just have to find it. A safe environment that does not judge you allows you to put out tender shoots and grow. A safe environment where you are heard and seen will build your confidence. Train your mind to understand there is no right path. There is only your path. As long as you walk your path to your destination, you are the winner.